My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
smell my finger.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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