Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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