Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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