So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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