I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize