I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have fence marks all over my body