You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
