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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

  Fav 4 966 2273

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• (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

  Fav 33 6139 1786

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

  Fav 14 7136 1800

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  And she used to have such long ones. Sad.

  Fav 23 1484 5924

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.

  Fav 13 5024 1601

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

  Fav 8 2541 1301

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

  Fav 15 4967 1785

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

  Fav 7 2281 952

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.

  Fav 7 2148 862

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

  Fav 4 2090 807

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

  Fav 3 1442 767

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

  Fav 4 2323 702

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.

  Fav 3 1726 795

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

  Fav 6 1132 696

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have fence marks all over my body

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