I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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