found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.