I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!