I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
