I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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