A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito