My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
