It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
