Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
