i barfeds in our rink
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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