That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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