so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
