Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
