Already got asked if we're dating
You just made me feel so damn special
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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