The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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