I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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