is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.