I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence