I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize