Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
