Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
be right there i have to get my cape
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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