weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis