um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he shaved USA in his pubs
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.