Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
