I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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