She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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