I just threw up on my dentist
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize