proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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