Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
