You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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