oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize