i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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