I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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