census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize