I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize