Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
