Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
