I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
