Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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