I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize