How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
