Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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