I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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