So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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