North Korea, Best Korea!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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