I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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