The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.