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I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
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