Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died