Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.