I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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